Thanks for the memories, now I'm going to piss on your grave

We're getting into the busy season for year-end retrospectives. Every news show and new years rockin' eve show will have a "death reel" where they remember all the people that died in the previous year. It's usually a musical montage with swelling strings and black & white photos and shit.

They pretty much cast everyone in a good light. Let's take some time to remember those people who were wife-beaters, and murderers:

James Brown - Wife Beater

The Godfather of Soul didn't take no sass mouth from his womens. In addition to leading police on multi-state car chases, JB was also arrested numerous times for assaulting his wife/wives.

Wilson Pickett - Wife Beater
















"Gonna wait til the midnight hour, that's when my love comes a-tumblin' down...ON YOUR FACE, BITCH!" Like all great entertainers, Wilson kept his pimp hand strong. He loved booze, drugs, guns, and driving around on mayors' lawns while drunk. A class act.


Kirby Puckett - Sexual Predator










Kirby served as an inspiration to overweight blind washed-up baseball players who had a proclivity for urinating in public and for forcible relations in bathrooms. For some reason this guy was always (and continues to be) a media darling. I hope he is being sodomized by Hitler in hell right now.


Trevor Berbick - Rapist














Probably most famous for beating Muhammad Ali and getting his ass beat by Mike Tyson. Ol Trev's boxing wasn't limited to the ring, though. Between preaching and dabbling in drugs, Trevor raped his kids' babysitter. Apparently that's illegal. He was murdered in Jamaica with a chainsaw. They don't fuck around in Jamaica.


Shamil Basayev - Murderer














Architect of the Beslan school siege. I like this picture because it says "hey ladies, I want to get sexy with you (and murder your children)." If Kirby Puckett is getting sodomized by Hitler in hell, I can only imagine what is happening to this dude. Sisyphus and Kirby are looking at this guy thinking "wow, that's pretty harsh." I'm guessing his fate has something to do with gargling boiling bird shit while having his skin eaten by robot spiders or something.



Abu Musab al-Zarqawi - Murderer

















Jordanian Terrorist and leader of al Qaeda in Iraq. Credited with bringing the beanie hat back into fashion. Bit off way way more than he could chew with the whole "Death to America" thing. Tried to be pals with Osama and company. Wanted to be a martyr. Fished his wish.